Epiphany

A few weeks back I had an epiphany.  For someone like me who considers herself a creative dunce, this was rather exciting.  As in, stay up way too late into the night in front of the computer exciting.

I've mentioned in the past that while I enjoy photography, I really struggle with the editing part.  As much as I've tried, my photos of my kids or others have not improved over the past few years since I bought my first dSLR.  I couldn't quite put my finger on why my photography was not improving.  My ephiphany came as I was editing photos from a trip we took with our preschool group to the Botanical Gardens.  I came across this picture:



As I edited, I realized that I was enjoying what I was doing, and I loved the end result.  It occurred to me that I've always been drawn to close-up photography.  The picture below is from way back when I started really attempting to be artistic with my photographs (heavy emphasis on attempting).



Even back then I knew that I was drawn to pictures that were close up, that filled the frame.  I think I've been fighting it all these years, because I was trying to fit into the mold of "mom has baby, mom picks up camera, mom becomes star family photographer".  I further realized that photographing people wasn't my forte, which is why I never improved much.  As all mothers are instilled with guilt, of course I feel guilty for not loving taking pictures of my kids.  Sure, I enjoy photographing them, but it isn't what keeps my interest in photography.

I love close-ups, still-life.  Macro photography where you can see your reflection in the fly's eye.  I will probably never get to that level, but at least now I know what I enjoy and what I am drawn to.  And for the first time in my life, I enjoy the artistic, creative side of something.  Believe me, that feeling is brand new.  Maybe it's because I have more control over the situation.  A flower sits there patiently while you try to photograph it from every angle.  A child does not.

Of course, once I came to this realization, my woes weren't over.  People don't necessarily follow blogs to look at pictures of things.  They want to see pictures of people, most likely people they know.  So, I have found a new struggle: I have found what I love, but will it be appreciated? (said in dramatic fashion ;) )

Yesterday I set aside some time to pull out my camera and play around.  For my birthday I bought some macro extension tubes, and even an adapter which allows me to attach one of my lenses backwards with some amazing results. 

This is what adding the extension tubes allows me to do, this is a rose picked from our back yard bush. 



I can get up close and personal with my subject.  This little dandelion was the size of my thumbnail, I realized later I should have taken a picture of it next to something to show the scale of how small it really was. 

 

Macro and close-up photography reminds me of snorkeling and scuba diving when I was younger.  The ocean is beautiful enough as seen from the outside, but when I would get under the water, it felt like an entirely different world.  Such it is with close-up photography, like that picture of the dandelion.  Sure, I see them every day, from high above, but once I get up close through my lens, I love seeing the details that are normally missed.

Yes, I still enjoy taking pictures of the kids.  This picture of Chad reminds me why I like to get so close to my subject.  I know Chad is not smiling in this picture, but I love that I can see all his features, like the cute little freckles sprinkled across his nose, the shape of his teeth and ears and eyes. Just as I have forgotten in my mind how he looked as a baby, someday my mind will forget how he looked as a boy.  Pictures like this will help me remember the little features I saw every day.